i watch the butt, i protect the butt
without this butt my life is useless
i will serve and protect this butt with my life
I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the butt.
just for the captions omg
His pledge to her:
I will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar. i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle. i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger, and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling, sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you. i will love you. i will love you.
Hawaii is soon to become the first state in the US to enforce a plastic bag ban. The ban was passed at the county level in every county in the state. This is a great example of how small, local action can create big change.
What the fuck are dolphins supposed to put their groceries in
Do you know what I want to see?
I wanna see a really cool Disney princess who can’t sing. I wanna see this pretty young girl who sounds like a beached whale when she tries to sing “Happy Birthday.” And none of the musical numbers feature her because she doesn’t sing.
But halfway through the movie, she figures out
She can rap like hell
This post kept getting better and better with every word
when he tightens his arms around you, best feeling ever
wonder what this feels like
The best feeling in the world
god i wish i knew
You want to know what it feels like? It feels like you’re safe. It feels like no one can hurt you. You’re under his warm embrace. Feeling his muscles around your waist, your body being pulled closer to his… The feeling is indescribable. When they say it’s the best feeling ever, they aren’t kidding. Because in that moment, when you’re sharing body heat, there isn’t a place you’d rather be or a single thought that crosses your mind that doesn’t involve him. When a guy gives up all of his “manly” pride just to hold you close to his heart like this, is when we, ladies, need to realize that he truly does love us. And we need to not let it go to waste.
hopefully one day